The Chameleon's Game: Healing from Covert Narcissism
About This Episode
Covert narcissism is one of the most misunderstood and most damaging relationship dynamics because it is designed to be invisible until you are already deep inside it.
Camisha sits down with Kasia Dodd, a clinical psychologist originally from Poland who has been practicing in the US for over 22 years. Kasia spent over a decade in a relationship with a covert narcissist, and even with her clinical training, she found herself asking why she stayed. Her journey out of that relationship and into deep healing became the foundation for her book The Chameleon's Game and her work helping women understand and recover from toxic relationship patterns.
In this episode, we cover:
What a covert narcissist actually is and how they differ from the overt narcissist most people are familiar with
The chameleon effect, how covert narcissists mirror your values, interests, and personality to make you feel like you found your soulmate, before the mask slips
Why education, intelligence, and strong self-esteem are not protection against falling into these relationships
The role of the subconscious and unresolved generational patterns in attracting toxic dynamics
How Kasia discovered her own grandmother's narcissism as the generational root of her own relationship pattern
What a remote energy healer told Kasia before her relationship ended that only made sense afterward
The Emotional Freedom Technique EFT tapping, what it is, how it works, and why Kasia considers it the single most powerful tool for survivors
The Inherence Process, a method Kasia developed with a colleague, that goes beneath the surface trauma to the deeper layer where part of us holds on to what we say we want to release
The inner parent theory and why focusing only on the inner child misses half of the healing equation
Why the inner child has nothing wrong with it, and where healing actually needs to happen
How the inner parent structure absorbs critical messages from the outside world and projects them onto the inner child
The biggest green flag people mistake for love that is actually a red flag
Why immediate intense soul mate feelings are worth being cautious about
One daily 10-minute habit that can help survivors rebuild self-trust
Why recovery is not about getting your old life back, but about reconnecting with your deep self
What is a Covert Narcissist?
Unlike the overt narcissist who presents with an inflated ego and superiority, the covert narcissist operates from a position of victimhood and low self-esteem. They are never responsible for anything. Everything is always someone else's fault. They demand empathy and rescuing while simultaneously accusing you of never doing enough. Their goal is not resolution or peace. It is drama and emotional chaos. Because they feed on your emotional responses, a calm and loving relationship is actually threatening to them.
The Inner Parent Theory
Most healing modalities focus on the inner child. Kasia's work asks a different question. Where is the inner parent? Every child needs a parent to exist. The inner parent is the structure that helps the wild energy of the inner child navigate the world safely. When the inner parent absorbs negative messages from caregivers and society, it turns its attention outward to people pleasing, controlling, and performing rather than inward toward the inner child's actual needs. Healing the inner parent is where real transformation happens because the inner child itself is perfectly whole. It was always whole. It just needed a healthy parent to show up for it.
EFT Tapping: A Free Daily Healing Tool
Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT tapping, is a somatic healing practice that works by tapping on specific meridian points on the body while speaking to emotional pain or limiting beliefs. It takes approximately 10 minutes per session, and there are thousands of free guided EFT exercises available on YouTube. Kasia has been practicing EFT for nearly 20 years and credits it as her primary healing tool during and after her toxic relationship.
Resources Mentioned
The Chameleon's Game by Kasia Dodd, available on Amazon in print and on Google Books and other platforms as an ebook
EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, free guided exercises available on YouTube. Search EFT tapping for toxic relationship healing or EFT for self-worth
The Inherence Process, a method developed by Kasia Dodd and her colleague for working directly with the inner parent structure
IIN, Institute for Integrative Nutrition. Use code CAMISHABLACKBURNXIIN for 25% off all classes
Key Takeaways
The most important relationship in your life is the one you have with your deep self. Everything else is a reflection of that.
Covert narcissism can happen to anyone regardless of education, intelligence, or self-awareness. It is not a failure of your judgment. It is an activation of your subconscious patterns.
Recovery is not about getting your old life back. It is about finding yourself.
The inner child does not need healing. It needs a healthy inner parent to finally show up for it.
Connect with Camisha
If this episode resonated with you and you are ready to start healing your relationship patterns from the inside out I would love to connect. Book your free health history session at Blackburn Wellness and let us talk about where you are and where you want to be.
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