Childhood Wounds, Self Worth, and Why I Chose Drugs
About This Episode
Content note: This episode contains honest discussion of childhood trauma, domestic violence, sexual abuse, and addiction. Please listen with care and reach out for support if you need it.
In Episode 1, we ripped the band-aid off and talked about the what: the drinking, the drugs, the darkest moments. In Episode 2, we go to the source. Because true healing does not come from treating symptoms. It comes from understanding where it all began.
In this episode, I share:
The father wound, and the mother wound, and how both left me desperately chasing love and attention from anyone willing to give it
What it felt like to grow up as daddy's girl and then have that suddenly disappear
How moving constantly through childhood made it impossible to build identity, friendships, and a real sense of belonging
The way unhealed childhood wounds created a pattern of accepting any attention, positive or negative, as love
Being cheated on in my first serious relationship, and the moment I asked myself why am I not enough
How the erosion of self-worth through middle school, high school, and beyond left me empty
The real reason I started using drugs in 2018 — it was not about partying; it was about chasing attention from an ex
How drugs gave me something relationships never could: an immediate, powerful escape from feeling low
The painful truth about who I became while using, including things I did not remember until my wife told me years later
Key Takeaway
We accept the love we think we deserve. When your earliest experiences teach you that love means chaos, fighting for attention, and never quite being enough, you will keep recreating that dynamic until you heal the source. Not the symptoms. The source.
A Note on This Episode
This episode also opens with a personal life update — an honest, real talk moment about my luteal phase, menstrual cramps, hormonal changes, and a natural remedy that finally helped me sleep. Because this podcast is about the whole integrated life. And that includes the messy, beautiful, very real experience of being a woman in a body that is always trying to tell you something.
Connect with Camisha
If anything in this episode resonated with you and you are ready to start understanding your own patterns — body, mind, spirit, and relationships — I would love to connect. Book your free health history session at Blackburn Wellness and let's talk about where you are and where you want to be.